Shifting Power Page 9

  The clothes fit except for around her belly. The buttons reached to the top of where her belly started, and she gave up on the rest. The outfit added yet another moment of bliss as she wrapped her arms around herself in the soft fuzzy material. She glimpsed herself in the mirror and cringed at the protrusion of her stomach. The warmth left her, and the cold loneliness crept up again.

  Climbing into the immense wood bed, she broke down, angry at herself for telling August how she really felt about the baby. After all the sweet things he said about her being the epitome of the mother figure. No one could love a woman who hated her own unborn child. She hadn’t even given the girl a name, dreading the day she held the screaming babe in her arms. Valerie shuddered at the thought of holding the baby to her breast. She was pure evil. No better than Lucas Jarrett.

  In the early days after August freed her from Lucas Jarrett, she had asked Monica to perform an abortion. By then, the public already knew she was pregnant. If she lied and said she had lost the baby, it would eventually come to light, and the people would no longer trust her. She couldn’t win. She had to have this baby but had no plan on how to function as her mother beyond that moment. She had help, but Hyka hardly tolerated Caleb. If August cared for the baby girl, it would most definitely tear her apart with jealousy.

  A knock came, and she turned her heart off as she had taught herself to do long ago. Inhale. Exhale. August peeked his head in and entered without waiting for permission.

  “I can feel you crying. Your anxiety screams louder than my own thoughts. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” He sat on the bed next to her and put his hand on her hip. “I cannot put into words how much I care about you and hate seeing you like this.”

  “I’m such a horrible person.” Valerie buried her face in her pillow.

  “No. No, you’re not. Even General Population women with normal pregnancies go through these feelings. Nothing about this makes me think any less of you. I knew from your first appointment with Monica that this was hard for you. We’ll make this work, but you have to trust me.”

  Valerie said nothing.

  “I want to honor you. I want to honor the man you love because it’s obvious how much you adore him. He must have been something to deserve such a passionate partner. I’m not trying to take his place, Valerie, but to do right by him. Help you raise his children to be good people. Because I love you, and seeing you like this rips me apart. If he were alive, seeing you happy would be enough for me.”

  Valerie nodded. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t return the three words that left her heart pounding in her ears. Instead, she silently prayed that he was as strong as the claims he made.

  “August, will you stay in here with me? I mean, just to sleep. I’ve had horrible dreams the last few nights.”

  “I’ll do my best to scare off the boogieman,” he smiled. “I told you, I will wait however long it takes.”

  She lay awake facing the bathroom where he changed into sleeping pants; he returned with no shirt on, and she nearly came undone. The lights flickered in rhythm with her heart before she could control herself.

  “Sorry,” he laughed.

  “Don’t be,” she blushed.

  He got in the bed from the opposite side and stayed as far away from her as comfortably possible. She maneuvered her pregnant body to his, and he met her in the middle. Valerie rested her head on his trim chest as he wrapped his strong, protective arm around her. She allowed the connection, the fluid movement of their energy to coax her to sleep within minutes.

  August was out of bed, thankfully. Valerie knew she would’ve stayed there all day if he had still been beside her. Her mood was distinctly different. The depression had lifted. The deep, peaceful sleep left her energized and as happy as she had been when she laughed with her friends and family the night before.

  Valerie inhaled deeply as she sat up. The scent of wood burning in the fireplace mixed with the smell of bacon and dark coffee. She never wanted to leave the cabin. She traded her belly-baring pajamas for yoga pants and a sweatshirt then opened the French doors to the living room. Mike was helping Caleb into a full-body snowsuit and matching snow boots. Monica and Courtney, fully recovered from their binge the night before, buzzed about the kitchen. Duke helped August cook what smelled like heaven.

  “Snowman!” Caleb said, clapping his thick-gloved hands together and beaming at his mother.

  “Yeah? Are you and Grandpa going to build a snowman?”

  “Snowman, yeah.” He jumped what little he could in all his gear.

  Major placed the last of the luggage by the front door, and her heart sank a little knowing her short vacation was ending.

  “Good morning, princess,” August said, smiling from the kitchen with an apron sporting a Pittsburgh football team over his dress shirt and slacks.

  “Queen,” she corrected with a smile.

  “Yes, Queen.” He bowed low in mocking apology of his transgression.

  They both laughed, and for a second Valerie could feel everyone watching in silence at their exchange. She knew rumors would fly. No matter how well Courtney guided the media, Valerie knew their time together would be twisted into something it was not. The public would assume she and August had slept together even while she was pregnant with her husband’s child. The bad feelings returned—shame and guilt for a scenario which never played out.

  August frowned a little and looked up at her. She broke his gaze and walk into the kitchen toward the coffee pot. Before she could ask for a mug, he handed her a full cup. She took a sip, and it was perfect. The right amount of sweetener, the right amount of cream.

  “Thank you.”

  “Monica said only one cup a day, so cherish it.” August winked at Monica who pointed a finger back at him.

  “We can talk about statements over breakfast,” Courtney said, practically chirping the words with audible excitement. “Hyka never makes statements, but I’ll brief Jack on the way back.”

  “We’re making statements now? About what? How we celebrated our rich lives while the region is struggling?” Valerie asked August with raised eyebrows.

  “We’re just conveying that you’re okay and the baby is fine. We stayed in a cabin with minimal amenities so you could unplug from the Facility, heal, and relax.”

  Then, like a switch being flipped, without thinking or considering the words, Valerie said, “We’ll announce our relationship.” It was a statement to August. The words were alien, like someone else had spoken them. She wanted to take them back, run back to the bedroom and hide until they all left her there. But she maintained. Even when August asked if she was sure and insisted it was unnecessary to make anything public.

  “Courtney can prepare the statements on our behalf.”

  Pushing her designer glasses up from the tip of her nose, the normally bubbly Courtney stood and stared, mouth gaping until her wife nudged her.

  “Yes,” Courtney replied, recovering. “I will put the release out this evening.”

  Valerie raised her eyebrows at August for his approval. He nodded. Valerie smiled despite her whole body screaming at her. She was forcing herself too soon. The growing child in her belly only added to the obvious rush of the situation. But she was a DiaZem. They were a team already. There was another female DiaZem within August’s grasp. No matter how loyal he claimed to be, she could not push him much longer before he found interest elsewhere. It was now or never.

  Hyka and Jack emerged from their room right before it was time to leave. Valerie left the pink pajamas folded neatly on the bed. She dressed properly in a high-waist black pinstriped skirt which stretched comfortably over her bump and a white dress shirt. She pulled her dark hair back into a tight bun. After helping him with his jacket, Valerie scooped up Caleb to load him into the vehicle and head home.

  “No, no, no. I got him. It’s slick out here,” Major said, taking Caleb from her. “Last thing we need is you falling.”

  Valerie hugged Major after he
strapped Caleb into his car seat then turned to her father.

  “You can come back. Caleb’s missed you so much. I’ve missed you a little, too,” she teased, but could not hide the frown that tugged at her lips.

  “Maybe I’ll be by tomorrow. I hear there are exciting things going on at the Facility.”

  August cleared his throat and not-so-subtly shook his head. Valerie gave her father a curious look and hugged him. August held her hand and guided her out to the waiting convoy of vehicles. Sunglasses hid the tears she let fall leaving the cabin.

  “How long until we get Jarrett under control?” she asked, staring out the window and wondering if that was the excitement her father hinted at. She knew there were a few more steps involved in the development, but no one had given her a time frame.

  “Weeks, maybe.” Duke answered. Usually, he annoyed her by breathing, but something had changed in his tone. She accepted the modification but noted his softer, helpful manner versus the snark which came fluently from his mouth.

  The convoy traveled back through downtown and parted ways with the lead vehicle that was taking Mike and Austin back to the capitol. The rest went only two more blocks before traffic came to a standstill.

  “That’s odd,” August said, unbuckling his seatbelt to see better out the front window. “Can you see what the holdup is?”

  Without a word, Hyka got out of the SUV and walked two car lengths up the street. She ran back to the suburban, slammed the door, and jerked it into gear.

  “It’s a blockade. Something’s up. That Bowman girl from the Reactance is out there.”

  “The Reactance?” Valerie peered out the back window as they reversed. What started as a low rumble quickly gave way to a deafening explosion that shook the ground and the vehicle. In seconds, a giant fireball replaced the clock tower of the capitol building, and a thick cloud of smoke and flame rose in its place.

  “NO!” Valerie’s scream reverberated within the vehicle. Lamp posts and shop windows exploded.

  Caleb covered his ears, eyes wide in shock. Hyka swung the vehicle around.

  “Hyka, no!” August yelled. “You and Jack take the sedan behind us. I’m taking Val and Caleb back to the Facility.”

  “NO!” Valerie screamed again, locking the doors.

  “You’re not going back there!” August yelled. “There is nothing you can do. Valerie, we need to get Caleb to safety.”

  “We can save them! August, my father is in there.”

  “My father is in there! Let me out!” Hyka screamed back at her.

  Valerie released the locks and held her son’s hand as Jack, Hyka, and August exited the vehicle. August took Hyka’s place in the driver’s seat and slammed the stick into gear.

  “They knew our route. How could they have known our route or when we’d come back? August, how could they have known?”

  “I don’t know, Val. It will be okay. I’ll get you back to the Facility.”

  “Are we even safe there? Should we go back?”

  Caleb wailed and Valerie gripped his hand. She stopped crying. She rebuilt the wall around her heart.

  “Dad should have come with us. This is my fault. We shouldn’t have even gone to the cabin. Who am I to think I can have a normal life, even just for a second?”

  She felt August tense and could see his knuckles whiten as his hands clenched around the steering wheel. He drove fast, but careful down the side streets, heading east away from the city and back to the Facility. Valerie said nothing else. She sensed he was just as scared as she was and felt just as much at fault.

  August hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. “Val, honey, I’m so sorry.”

  The words broke her. She knew what he meant. She knew he tapped into the radio feeds and listened to the developments. She didn’t have the strength to hear for herself the chaos and panic of the people she loved experiencing the loss face-to-face. A sob stuck in her throat until finally, she had no air left in her lungs. She gasped and held a scream that came out as a weak whine. She looked at her son’s face, blurred through her tears. Her poor little boy loved his grandpa as much as his own father and had lost both. He was her man now. He was the only one left.

  When they reached the Facility, Valerie unstrapped Caleb and got out of the vehicle. Armed guards awaited their arrival and surrounded her as she walked into the building. Glasses firmly over her eyes, she carried her son, head high and expression solemn. She felt the frantic energy when she walked through the doors. Jarrett’s energy was transient, bouncing from one place to the next. She wanted to turn right around and walk out the door. Though she was the one reallocating energy, she felt like everything was sucking the life from her: her daughter, the people, even August. She had to give all the time, with no one to fill her up emotionally. Mike had loved her in his own way, even after she had sent him away. Putting on the brave face for the public was exhausting, but she would not give whoever did this the satisfaction of her grief. She felt more isolated and alone as ever. As soon as she had the thought, August reached for her hand. Strength.

  “Bad man,” Caleb whispered to her as she held him firmly to her chest and the three of them walked to the elevators.

  “Take the stairs?” August suggested. “I can carry you.”

  “He’ll need help before I do.” She handed Caleb over to August who put the boy on his shoulders. The height made her nervous, but she said nothing.

  August led the way to her suite. The effort it took kept her mind busy enough to keep from breaking down. She had never taken the stairs from the lobby to the thirteenth floor before. They wound up, up, up; each flight was arduous and made her head spin.

  From her west-facing suite, she could still see the pillar of smoke where the capitol building continued to burn. She took Caleb from August’s shoulders and sat on the couch, holding him close. On her command, the TV sprung to life with the newsfeed reporting about the destruction. Instead of arguing, which she knew he wanted to do, August muted the news anchor, and subtitles scrolled along the screen, giving the information she wanted.

  Most state officials departed the capitol building following yesterday’s monthly DiaZem meeting. Few survivors have escaped from the rubble and were healed by a visiting DiaZem.

  The World Council has not commented to take responsibility for the attack. However, a small organization calling itself the “Reactance” is thought to have planted and detonated explosives within the evacuation tunnels to level our beloved city’s capitol building. You might remember the press release given from the Facility just days ago concerning Reactance spokeswoman, Sasha Bowman. The Facility reported Bowman’s threats were unsubstantiated nonsense from an adolescent child. It seems this attack might very well have been provoked by the Queen DiaZem herself. I’m sure she’s taking them seriously now.

  August spoke aloud to the woman on the screen, “This is August Wilkes. I wish to address the public.”

  Yes, sir. Ladies and gentleman, I have King DiaZem, Doctor August Wilkes, on the line right now to address you all. Go ahead, sir.

  “On behalf of Valerie and myself, this horrible act of terror on our city has left us devastated. We are grieving the loss of loved ones, friends, and family alike. As we remain strong, we ask our region to remain strong. We have rebuilt in the wake of a great loss before, and we will continue to show the world our resilience and resolve.” August took a breath and looked back at Valerie stone-faced on the couch holding her son in her lap. She nodded her approval for him to continue.

  “Denver will not tolerate this Reactance or Council threats made west of Kansas City. Personal interest in this tragedy makes it our priority to see the people responsible given the same fate as those inside the State Capitol Building when it fell. I again encourage you to be strong. We, your DiaZem leaders, are committed to the safety of those we serve. We will restore your faith and trust in us to keep it so. Tonight, we will hold closer the ones we love. May peace find its way to you. Goodnight.”
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br />   He powered off the TV.

  “Thank you,” Valerie whispered.

  There was a light tap on the door and Valerie swung it open, knowing who it was. A small Indian woman stood in all white, holding a garment bag. Lalit was not just Valerie’s stylist. She was a wise woman of eighty-seven years and more like a mother to Valerie on the occasions they were able to visit.

  “Where I am from, we wear white to signify the purity of a life leaving this body. But you, my queen, your culture mourns in black.” Lalit carried the garment bag to Valerie’s room and hung it in the bathroom. “Come here, my sweet girl.”

  Valerie hugged Lalit tight and cried onto her shoulder. A swirl of emotions—emptiness and profound grief—poured from her body as she shook with sobs.

  “My, my, my precious child.” Her rich accent comforted Valerie. “Death is merely our soul leaving the body. My people believe these bodies are only temporary. You will find your father again. In another place, perhaps another time. Now. Get dressed, and I will see you outside. No need to be so strong today, okay?”

  Valerie nodded and wiped her eyes. She knew Lalit spoke of Hindu tradition and beliefs, but as much as she wanted to find comfort in her words, the possibility of all souls reincarnating troubled her.

  Pushing the thought from her mind, lest the idea of additional hauntings drive her completely mad, she closed the door and dressed in a simple black dress for the service. The fabric fit her pregnant form, heavy enough to keep her warm without overheating, ending just above the knee with quarter length sleeves. Her dark hair flowed over her shoulders, pinned back with a thin black birdcage veil.

  Hyka had replaced Lalit in the room when Valerie emerged. She had cut her hair into a short straight bob up to her jawline, no longer sporting her signature waist-long dreadlocks. She looked nothing like the terrifying woman Valerie met so many months ago. She wore the same style of black pants and white button-up shirt as every day. Though it was sleek and accented her figure, Valerie bribed her in the past to wear anything else.